


Using A Variable For X Time’s A Charm Is Fine (Alright?)

by JamlessGenius



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: AUTHOR AU, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Asexual Relationship, Assassins & Hitmen, Desperation, Hackers, How many acting roles can I shove in here, I REGRET NOTHING, M/M, Modern Assassins, Pirates, Reincarnation, Royalty, Sirens, Soulmates, TW: Suicide, cameos galore, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23375230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamlessGenius/pseuds/JamlessGenius
Summary: They met in their first life, a lonely pirate and a disillusioned siren- and it was the wrong time. How many lives do they need to cross paths in for it to be the right one?
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Internalized Acephobia. It was necessary for the plot but EVERYONE in the acearo community is fuckin valid (or not fuckin if ur ace I guess? What would I put there instead? Being woke correctly is difficult sigh. Ur still valid tho)  
> Also suicide I should mention that too.  
> Nobody important to the plot STAYS dead I promise.

Dongmin sat on his rock, grumbling. He was in the feed-duty squad for the village, codenamed Eunwoo, and today was so slow.

The truth was, very few sirens actually liked eating humans. And they didn’t need to consume a lot on a regular basis. But they needed to consume  enough , or they’d shrivel from the inside out in a very slow and painful process that was difficult to reverse. It was just a part of life they’d all lived with for years. He remembered how inland sirens tried to harvest already dead bodies from suicide points or graveyards, but there simply wasn’t enough to feed everyone with a dead body.

And nobody likes rotten food. So most sirens lived by the sea, with access to drowned bodies floating or people on ships.

He was only allowed on the united squad because of his parents insisted he could improve the Sal’s reputation. A talent for music and an above average, even for a siren, face. But he was mildly grateful for his post. (An older hyung, codenamed V, had left this post open when he married into another village. Supposedly the mates were all wonderful, and it was rare for there to be several, but Dongmin didn’t care. He was just grateful for the location position that few people passed.)

Yes, he was a Sal. 

No, he didn’t like it.

The Sal made him uncomfortable, and none of his friends hailed from his village. JinJin hyung and Rocky came from Misul, and Sanha was a Jeulgeoum kid. He envied those villages that did not send off all their children to farm, work as a dance squad or hunting squad member. 

In Sal, there was no childhood, merely a training period. They were obsessive over consuming humans. To the Sal, there was no greater value to a siren. All that was discussed was furthering the village or providing for it and it made Eunwoo sick. The Sal, he knew, had a reputation. It was a miracle he made friends at all. The Sal were the strongest warriors and dancers and singers, deadly and dedicated weapons who could even charm a siren. Militaristic, the Sal were the ones to insist upon use of codenames, because there was a chance that people could find their soulmates on the field and compromise the mission. 

Soulmates were a simple concept, if you were soulmates and said each other’s name, a mark symbolizing your bond appeared on the body. Sirens had to be on at least one end of the bond, because this was a siren soulmate bond, but not every siren had one mate or a siren mate. He knew the names of all these people, but he never dared utter his true name or theirs. He was attractive, to both sexes, and the number of times people tried to test if they were mates annoyed him. He said to leave him alone and never did give out his true name. Somewhere along the way, he gained this cold reputation among the other kids as the studious ice prince. He remembered some kids trying to do well in their studies and training and impress him, which made Eunwoo cringe. 

In other villages, joining the squads was always a choice. To be heroes or regarded as nobly doing the dirty work, it was a choice. In the Sal, it was the incompetent or rebellious ones who became farmers and everyone else worked in the squads. Three big mistakes, and you become a servile Irredeemable. That word was synonymous with a farmer to the Sal. Then when some got to a certain age, they took over leading or teaching positions, the rest charitably helped the farmers and the rest became homemakers. And the cycle continued and Dongmin hated it all.

He hated that he was the Sal’s prodigy ice prince sent to make his village look good. He hated the whole systematic brainwashing. He hated it all and he couldn’t wait for the day he could leave. 

But it was scary, because the Sal were scary to others and he didn’t want to be feared wherever he went. He had heard some sirens had learned their soulmate was Sal and killed themselves. In the other villages it was the greatest misfortune a siren could receive. A part of him was relieved when he was there, because here nobody wanted to be his soulmate.

Jinwoo (Codename JinJin) hyung had almost fought him on joining the mixed squad as a Sal, but couldn’t do anything. He was in a protection squad and far away. 

They said talented dancers could end up sent to the cities and towns. Rocky and Sanha were with him. Their jobs were just the same. Entice away and destroy anyone who thought sirens were more than myth. With a dancer position, they could get anywhere, hear anything. They were the primary protectors. (Apparently, that was how V got to find his mates. Some of his now husbands were performing on a ship in a group of three. According to hyung, some could sing and dance so well they were fought over before they ended up on an elite team of six. Who all ended up to be mates and were very excited to learn that their final link had been found. Go figure. Soulmates were an annoying concept.)

But all of Dongmin’s friends weren’t there. He had some distant friends, but one lived on the other end of the ocean and it was a hassle for either of them to cross over, so visits were a pain. Another was a close friend of one of V’s new mates so he was attending the wedding, and they weren’t super close. He wanted someone to be close to, but his best friends were all gone and may never return. And if they did, it would be a long time from now.

So he was alone. And bored. And very much in the mood for something chewy. Mouth watering, he remembered snatching those boiled-rice-balls-on-a-stick things from a group of Japanese travelers. He wanted one. Bored out of his mind, he barely noticed Yoohyeon leap to her feet.

“A ship! Come on!”

Each unit for the feed squads was a group of six. They changed every time, and only made up of the select few in the cooperative feed corps. Villages tended to hunt for their own, but a few of the hunting squads were dedicated to being divided up and remixed with others to create intervillage unity. It was the Jeulgeoum that had suggested it a hundred years ago, and they’d been doing it since. He knew that people regarded the Sal as a double ended sword, ready to kill sirens if the mission was not played out well. That was why the Sal sent out the best looking and least flirtatious ones, to keep their reputation as the best but pose no threat to the others. 

He sat with Yoohyeon (Codename Dreamcatcher), Yuju (Codename CHERRY), Miyeon (Codename Idle), Yoonoh (Codename Jaehyun), and Seokmin (Codenamed DK or Dokyeom) and he was not from the same village as any of them. Eunwoo was from the Sal village, and the only one- to his relief. Idle and Dreamcatcher hailed from the Eodunn, CHERRY was from the Jeulgeoum, and Jaehyun and DK came from the Misul. They were amicably chatting, and they’d given him their names to use freely when they’d all first met. He never dared.

Him screwing up now and landing in the feed production with Irredeemables would kill his mother, who loved him dearly. 

He thought back to where they’d met up and divided into squads for the day.

Jihyo (Codename TWICE, a Jeulgeoum kid who spent half her time in Misul and bounced between), Chaeyoung (Codename Rosé, who can from very, very, far away) and Lalisa (Codename Lisa) were all sitting together, they’d come to greet someone codenamed Wonho. Said he was returned after Eodunn had him on probation and wanted him to feel welcome. He greeted the two travelers, who had crossed over to visit, telling Lisa to bid hello to his friend, Codenamed BamBam, whose name was so complicated that nobody outside his region could pronounce it. They both were from the Ce’eng. The Ce’eng were very friendly, and every so often sent a pair of mates to join intervillage hunting squads around the world. Rosé and Lisa were mates who had found each other while traveling in the same area and Rosé had moved to the Ce’eng. They were close friends with Jihyo’s mate, who was all too happy to see them.

It was a pretty rare sight, but it was a pleasure cruise. Few were in this area, last time someone had ended up meeting soulmates when a pleasure cruise came through. The waters here were a tad too foreboding for leisurely sailing across if nobody had experience, so they didn’t appear often. 

He opened his mouth and sung. Sirens always did paint an alluring picture, even if they were deadly. Perhaps they did because they were deadly. He tried not to look at the faces of the humans, in robes that soaked in water and dragged them closer to drowning, leap blissfully from the edges. They flailed in the water, dragging themselves or swimming over. He tried not to look as they all disappeared beneath the water and collector came to take them out. Collectors were those who had earned their keep in the Irredeemables to the point that they could work again. They would never be considered citizens again, but they could do something else. At least that was how the Sal chose collectors. Other villages had the physically strong but inept with dancing do it, some had the ones who were not attractive enough but who wanted to help hunt. 

Along the way back, he saw a few people before they split off. Donghyuk (Codename iKon) was chatting with a girl he only knew as Codename Dami. He did know her mate as named Jiho (Codename OMG) and they were from Eodunn. Friendly people, he supposed. They were there to pick up Idle and Dreamcatcher. Dongmin forcefully reminded himself not to think in names but in monikers. One slip up and he was toast. The others didn’t deserve to have a siren who hated being a siren as a mate. 

That night, there was a feast in the Sal. Some paraded around in the clothes of the hunted, which was mildly morbid. Dongmin always tried to stick to eating hair. He hated that he killed and he felt sick every time a pair of eyes ran him up and down lasciviously. He was aware sirens had a high sex drive and sex before finding mates was perfectly fine in their society. 

But the last time someone had asked, they’d asked for a name to scream and he felt ill.

He really wasn’t a proper siren, was he? He didn’t have the sex drive, avoided eating human flesh and stuck to hair because eating it made him so ill he’d throw up, didn’t want a soulmate, and didn’t even feel connected to his village.

Dongmin left the festivities early, to find somewhere far away. He didn’t even see the bright lights or hear the festival noise of the village anymore. He wasn’t near anything and all that surrounded him was forest and beach. He sat on the sand to watch the waves when a ship passed him by. They seemed so far away that Dongmin probably couldn’t get them alone. So he sang to waves instead. He liked how they’d climb a little higher as if the ocean wanted to give him a hug. He sang songs he’d written himself, watching the water draw closer.

He just wished he’d noticed what else had been coming closer in time.

Bin (or great Captain Moonbin to enemies and Puppycat to friends) was a pirate. In all the swashbuckled glory. 

Yeah, not exactly.

He had a ship and he housed fugitives and they all stole from rich assholes. He quite liked his squad. There was Luda, she was incredibly brightand incredibly beautiful. She and her girlfriend Mina were being persecuted for loving each other and not men. He’d taken them in. They were married now, they’d had a cute ceremony, stole some wedding finery from the prime minister who had tried to have them killed when she refused to marry his son. It was a fun affair. Bin had his fun killing the bastard who had played a part in his father’s death and the loss of his childhood crew. Mina herself could fight so elegantly it appeared as though she were dancing. She’d destroyed his entire personal guard force nearly on her own.

Then there was Taeyang, he had incredible sword fighting and archery skill. But he had been accused of murder when a noble had fallen off his horse across the street from him. He remembered looting that house with glee. They’d all eaten well that night. Taeyang has been taken with Mina for three minutes and then she scared him so hard he nearly peed.

Now they were just best friends.

Another guy on his ship was a cute guy namedJangjun. He had joined them one day and just stuck to them. Then there was Saerom, who mothered them all. Saerom was sweet, and a talented chef, but she’d been accused of being a lunatic for claiming to have met a siren had had to flee. She liked healthy food and they all owed it to her for their continued health. 

Someone was singing, and they were listening from the deck. He listened to the song and he thought about it. It was a little sad, calling for something missing. He understood the words of poetry being sung. 

He remembered his crew when he’d started out. He was fifteen then. Young and hurting and missing the crew he’d grown up in. It was him and the kids on the crew that he could save. Chaewon had come to him one spring morning and said she was leaving to marry. She had joined to avoid a marriage to man old enough to be her father because the man had tried to say she owed him for saving her and had fallen in love with another man on his crew, Junhoe. They were young, and he warned them of that. But he checked in from afar once. Their kids were growing up well, and they were still in love. 

Gyuri was his friend and he’d saved her too, but she’d betrayed him for for money when Jimin left to settle a debt and she had wanted to join her. It ended with Jimin’s death, and Eunha got so seriously injured that she had amnesia. He couldn’t force her to live a tough life with people who knew her while she didn’t know them, and had insisted that she stay in the village. Yerin had been heartbroken and gone her own way. He had never seen her again. 

They were gone, leaving him to find a new crew at seventeen, he’d found a few people. Woojin was the first fugitive he helped, and he repaid him in kind by disappearing during a chase and diverting the attention from them. He’d never seen him again. The rest of his crew had been so disgusted by Solbin and Yulhee getting pregnant with unmarried lovers that he’d ditched them and helped the girls to a new town. They’d parted amicably and he never saw them again. 

And then Bin needed to start over again. This was his third crew within five years at nineteen. He had once again lost all his friends, and next exclusively had criminals on his crew, hoping to help them. All he had wanted to do was help. Yoonsun had insulted the wrong person and was running away. Jinsoul had gotten herself in trouble for slapping a nobleman who had tried to proposition her upon hearing her play music and assumed her a prostitute. He remembered them fondly. Minkyung and Heejun (he’s said to call him Ziu) held less fondness from him. They’d tried to kill everyone. Sujeong and Suyeon had died to stop them. Yebin and Chaeyeon had joined a pirate named Jane’s all female crew and he was happy to seem them off. Soojung has gone as well, and convinced Yoonsun and Jinsoul too. 

Leaving him alone again.

He worried for those who had left all the time, and it wasn’t a worry he could share with the newer guys. 

He was twenty one now, a new crew. And he planned on helping them before they all parted too. He knew it would come one day, so he wanted to be the best captain until then. He never believed in people who stuck around anymore. Nobody had ever stayed with him. Was it any wonder he turned out to reject pleasures of the flesh? If he didn’t believe in companionships and friends, why would he want to be touched intimately by another human being? Mind, the entire thing grossed him out too and his crew had teased him for being like a little kid about once. But it was gross to him and he didn’t feel any desire for it. It amused him, now, but it was just who he was. 

But now listening made him remember what it was like to have friends. Conrad’s he believed would stick by his side through everything. An inexplicable longing rose in his chest. Even if it was impossible, a tiny piece of him wanted to believe in soulmates, that there was at least one person out there who would stay by his side. But he shoved ideas like that where the concept of fae went. Imaginary.

But the feeling of loss evoked from powerful music and poetry was nothing compared to the looks on his crews’ faces. It was a hunger, nearly sexual, which made the proudly asexual Bin cringe. Like, yes, it was a nice voice but so what? He rolled his eyes fondly, he’d let them check it out anyway. He really was too soft for his friends.

“Sit tight guys, want me to steer us to the singer?”

“Oh, captain, I wanna swiiim to it~” Taeyang’s voice was oddly pitchy. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He kept his voice serious.

“I’m your captain and I said to sit still, seriously, it’s just music!”

“Just music? It’s enchanting! Oh, can we swim to him and kidnap him?” Saerom’s eyes were bright and glassy.

Seriously, what was up with them? Yes, guy had some serious pipes but what the flying fuck was wrong with them? 

“I will tie you down or force you to go downstairs! You’ll drown if you try to swim from here!” Bin snapped at Jangjun, who was absentmindedly scooting towards the edge of the deck. Dropping the fishnet on them kept them tangled enough for him to tie them so they couldn’t try to jump off. He’d like to lose these members when the time came on amicable terms, thanks! Just because they would all leave him eventually didn’t mean he wanted to watch them die.

He took the wheel and steered the boat towards the mysterious sound. He asked himself if this was really a good idea. What was so entrancing that his crew was losing their shit? What was it? Some sort of siren? Bin had spent his life on the sea and had never even seen one. Sirens, as far as he was concerned, didn’t exist. How laughable. He docked and herded his crew onto land. They ran through the shallow water and across the sands. Cute. 

But then they found the source of the song. A man singing at the waves watching a part that peaked towards him. It was as if the ocean was coming closer to hear his voice. 

“The ocean must like your voice. What’s your name?”

The singing stopped, and he noticed his crew looked around as though hungover. But they all seemed to be staring at the source of that melancholic song. 

Because staring at him with wide, fearful eyes, was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen.

This man had the most perfect face, slim features. He didn’t seem real. His eyes widened and he scanned the ocean, as if making sure there was something there- or something wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” the beautiful boy spoke, eyes fearful. “You didn’t happen to see... anyone...”

“Trying to jump into the ocean?” Bin’s blood went cold. 

The man paled.

“You’re a siren, aren’t you.” Saerom spoke up, voice rough. “You seem familiar. I think that girl I met... she said she was from Sal village and there was a beautiful person who didn’t appear real and seemed as though he were a painting. She said to call you Eunwoo.”

The man paled further. 

“You weren’t... hunting us, were you?” Taeyang’s eyes darkened. The pretty man- Eunwoo?- gasped and scrambled backwards.

“I-I would never! My name isn’t Eunwoo, either! I swear! You have the wrong person, and please put that dagger away! Please be rational!” Bin chose time step on there.

“Sirens don’t exist, guys. Saerom just met someone who was convinced she was a siren and convinced her that she was. What’s your name?”

The man paused, as if unsure how to respond. It seemed gratefulness to him stopping his crewman from stabbing him won out. 

“I’m Lee Min. Now I have to go, bye!” 

And the pretty man was gone.

Bin didn’t forget that man, or their odd meeting. A nagging doubt stuck in the back of his mind. Jungjun and Taeyang stopped off in a different country along the coast, saying they wanted to put down roots. On another coastal city, Saerom met a dancer named Sanha and never returned. On another, Mina and Luda said they found a society of women like them, and wished to join. He wished them well.

And once again, at only twenty-two, he was alone again. Bin was the type to help anyone, but this time he decided to quit searching for crew members. He decided he would live his outlaw life alone. Nobody ever did stick around. So he sailed, for about a month.

On one fine morning, he saw a ship with its inhabitants leaping from the sides, and swimming towards a group of people. They were singing, and their voices were nice, but it didn’t hold back the roaring of his blood in his ears and the cold creeping up his neck.

Saerom was right. Sirens did exist.


	2. Chapter 2

Dongmin mulled over that meeting later. Even now, moons after, he wondered why he was hung up on a human. He couldn’t believe he’d given away any piece of his name, he was just glad he’d had the good sense to never learn the human’s names or say all of his own.

He was with his squad for the day. Two Eodunn men, a Misul woman and a young girl from Jeulgeoum. None of them even gave him their codename, and they stuck away from him as though they were incompatible lodestones. They were very unfriendly, he sighed. Upon doing his duty, he just walked in the other direction. And kept walking. Staring at ocean and the empty ship in the night, he asked himself what it was worth. To kill when he would just harvest. He could easily subsist healthily on human hair instead of flesh.

He hated the Sal. He hated the siren method. His bitterness became hatred. And today, he decided to leave. He had nobody to say goodbye to. His mother had died and his father was to obsessed with his legacy to care. Dongmin’s friends were all far flung across the globe. 

He had no reason to stick around beyond the duty that the Sal preached.

Dongmin wasn’t even a proper siren, why should he continue giving a shit about what the Sal said? He didn’t feel things a siren did, or want it either. So maybe he didn’t wanta village! All his village did was force him to act like his only pursuits in life were human flesh, sex, and continued legacy. Maybe even soulmates.

Dongmin wanted zero (0) of that. None! Zip, zilch, nada. And he left. He carried on in a village as a teacher, collecting scraps of hair that fell easily from uncaring children. It was no big deal until he was writing out his name when there was a voice behind him.

“A teacher? It suits you, you know. I’m Moon Bin.”

“Moon Bin,” Dongmin repeated absently. 

“Oh, Lee Dong Min, is that a pseudonym you-“ they froze when a symbol appeared on their wrists. Looking around in fear, Dongmin yanked the other man inside. Bin was staring at his wrist in wonder.

“Is this a soulmark?!”

“Yes,” Dongmin hissed, cheeks red. “It means you’re my soulmate.” Bin stared at him.

“Saerom told you about... she said it was-“

“A siren thing- please don’t bring it up. I hate it!” Bin looked hurt, and Dongmin internally winced.

“Me being your soulmate?”

“What? No! I have no reason. I just hate siren ideology. I can live just fine on hair, thanks.”

“Ugh,” Bin- apparently- winced. 

“I’d prefer it to human skin,” Dongmin snipped. Bin stopped, and smiled a bit, in disbelief.

“So you are a siren, huh?”

“Yeah, I am.” Dongmin poked one of the desks.

“Can I take you away?” The words were said with an ease as though they’d Ben said a hundred times to a hundred different people.

“Huh?”

“You’re meant to be by my side, I’m meant to be on the sea.” Bin said it easily, as though he’d accepted everything. A twitch in his jaw told Dongmin otherwise. But it was alright, this was alright. 

They could start from here.

“So am I. Take me, then.”

They were walking down the street when Dongmin spoke again. 

“You know, I’m grateful for you saving me back then.” Bin looked at him.

“Were you hunting, back then?” 

“No, I was... um... you won’t believe me-“

“What?” Bin cut off his flustered rambling with ease. Dongmin was glad he did.

“Singing to ocean,” Dongmin admitted, cheeks on fire.

Bin laughed.

“I’m serious! It always crawls up to me like it wants a hug and I love it!”

“Cute,” Bin blankly replied. 

“You think I’m cute?” Dongmin gaped. He’d been called a lot of things but cute was not one.

“Yeah,” he replied simply. “Go sailing with me?”

The sea. Dongmin missed the sea. He missed it a lot. 

“Yeah. I really want to.”

And going on the boat was an odd experience. To travel over the sea and see the pieces that had always been his horizon. But he watched the other man steer like he’d done it his whole life, and smiled. These were talents that could be used by many. This was admirable. But he knew that them being tired to each other with four words and five syllables was bothering the other. Dongmin wanted to be considerate, Bin didn’t deserve having a siren soulmate dropped on him as a pirate.

“You know, we can just be friends if you want.”

“H-huh?” The muscular man blinked at him. Dongmin laughed at the confused expression.

“I’m meant to stick by your side but that doesn’t mean you need to want to have children with me and make love in the moonlight-“ Bin’s eyes lit up with humor.

“And give you those obnoxious cheek kisses?”

Dongmin laughed, “yeah.” Oh they’d get along.

“Well sex isn’t a concern- I’m asexual.”

“What’s that?”

Bin tried not to flinch, but schooled his gaze as Dongmin watched with curious eyes. What an odd reaction.

“I’m not into sex. That’s it.”

“H-huh,” his heart stuttered. Maybe... maybe there was a reason he was the way he was. Maybe he wasn’t an improper siren. Maybe he just... didn’t feel attracted to anyone and that was okay. It was okay? He could say it was okay. Bin looked at him.

“What?”

“No... it’s just... a lot makes more sense now,” Dongmin admitted. “About me and about you.”

“What do you mean?” Bin tilted his head.

“I mean... sirens are intrinsically sexual creatures. Our song bases itself in sensual allure. Sirens are supposed to have high sex drives... things like that. But for me to not have that drive and for you to not respond the way others do.” Dongmin carefully watched Bin’s face, scared for an explosion.

“So you’re saying...” Bin grinned at him and Dongmin nodded.

“I think I’m asexual too?”

“Don’t put a label if you aren’t ready, but sure. We can be asexual bros.” The close term was nice. As many people as he called “hyung,” he was close to none of them. But here was an offer for an eternal best friend. He kinda wanted that, and if he could cling to the concept- that would be pretty cool, too.

“Well thanks,” Dongmin looked down with a grin. 

“For what?”

“Showing me something about myself.” His cheeks were warm and he was sure it was from his smile.

“Oh, tell me something about yourself. I can’t help you learn everything,“ Bin jokingly huffed. Maybe they could be great friends after all. 

“I was born in an Ox year?”

“Huh... do you want me to call you hyung, then?” Bin stared at him. That guy was younger?

“What?”

“Tiger baby right here,” Bin giggled. 

“Are you gonna scratch me with your claws  kitty ?” 

“Excuse me,  cow .”

Dongmin laughed. 

“I don’t know... this all feel so easy.” Bin admitted. Dongmin shrugged.

“Well we’re destined to be good friends. So let’s be the best of friends!” Bin seemed to snap into some trained response.

“Alright! What do you like to do?”

They asked each other stupid questions about each other. And then they went to bed. The next morning, Dongmin made breakfast. 

“Take a seat,” he said when the younger entered the kitchen. “I’m making your favorite.”

“How do you- oh I told you.” Bin blinked blearily, looking like a sleepy kitten. 

“Yeah, now it’s still hot. So wait a second before you eat it.”

They sat down to eat and Bin tilted his head at him.

“So... just wondering something. How does the whole... sirens eat people thing work?” There it was. Heavy questions for breakfast.

“Well I’m partial to hair because the person doesn’t need to die,” Dongmin winced and Bin looked ill. “But if I eat hair... oh, once a week? Yeah, once a week should be fine.”

“You’ll run me bald!” Bin gasped. Dongmin giggled.

“Better bald than dead.” Bin froze. And Dongmin internally cursed. He’d messed up somehow.

“Sorry... did I insult you?” That seemed like the best response. But suddenly Bin looked confused.

“You couldn’t tell?” Way to bring up how socially inept he was, Bin. Though it kinda was his fault.

“I... Uh... didn’t talk to most sirens growing up so I don’t really know how to talk to people so much either?” Dongmin let himself admit. Bin leaned over to stare at him.

“Why not?”

“Well I did grow up codenamed Eunwoo- in the Sal village. And that came with its own infamy. As the well known Sal kid and as a Sal kid.” Dongmin shuddered at the the memory. How often had he been looked at by fearful kids? What was worse was when they admired him. He remembered codename LE, telling him that’s he’d go far, before she ran away to become Misul.

“Sal as in...” Bin gestured to his body. Dongmin sighed. 

“Yeah. They’re militaristic and obsessed with hunting. They train everyone to hunt, and those who fail become farmers or body collectors. Most sirens aren’t like the Sal, don’t force kids to learn how to kill. It’s a choice there.” Bin paused.

“And other sirens all love eating humans?”

“Only the Sal are quite so obsessed. Other sirens do it as little as possible, prefer eating real food and only take their share of intervillage hunting. The Sal the ones who insist on not using real names ‘cause it could compromise a mission.”

“Why?” Bin asked.

“Soulmates,” was Dongmin’s answer. “Any momentary distraction might break the hold and get all sirens caught. Or hunted.” 

“You didn’t like their policies on hunting and soulmates?” Bin asked, seemingly relived. Dongmin was just glad that he separated him from sirens of myth. 

“That and they were obsessed with me. I was their prodigy ice prince who they could pretend was a perfect Sal kid. I wasn’t and I don’t want to be. Their obsession still sickens me.” Bin stared at him and as if sending he could easily rant about the Sal but he was uncomfortable in some odd combination, changed the subject.

“Did you have any friends?”

“Jinjin hyung and Rocky were Jeulgeoum, Sanha was Misul. They’re all dancers, but good people. There was Yugyeom, who went by Brown. He‘s a Misul dude, BamBam is from Ce’eng. Not as close to them. Mainly met them through Mingyu. Or S.V.T. if I use codenames. He’s a dancer.” Bin paused and nodded.

“Those are other villages, right?” Dongmin nodded absentmindedly, thinking.

“What other villages are there? Well there’s the Jeulgeoum, every siren I know from there is always friendly. They like eating people the least. There’s the Misul, all of them like honing their talents for skill’s sake. They just like dancing and singing. They do a lot of festivals. I don’t know a lot about the Eodunn, but they’re all pretty okay. There’s a village called the Ce’eng. That’s far away- by Thailand somewhere. Friendly also. I know of another very small village called Mujeog. They’re slightly closer inland. Spend a lot of time around humans but still keep their secret. Some dancer squads live in the Mujeog village year round. And some very good genes, say you’ll never meet an untalented or ugly siren there. They also have a poly soulmate relationship. Those are pretty rare. Most people are comfortable using real names outside of the Sal, too. And after discovering a soulmate. That’s how they figured out that V hyung was another link. Seventh, I think? He was just glad to be out. The thing about villages is that if you leave with a reason to stay, by siren standards you’re a terrible person. I didn’t have any reason to stay and I hate siren society so I said screw it and left.” 

“How did V meet his soulmates?”

Eunwoo carefully watched his face as he described the intervillage feed squads, and the dancer protectors. He watched him in his deep thought as he told him about how all his friends became dancers to escape societies like theirs. It never betrayed anger or disgust. Just thought.

“I don’t know if I can accept all sirens... but I think you’re pretty okay.”

“That’s all I need.” Dongmin sighed with relief. He didn’t think he could handle being hated by his soulmate. His destined best friend!

“So about friends. Where is your crew?”

And Bin told him. About each and every crew. He’d begun to ramble and his eyes were watering. Dongmin stares at him. Did Bin even believed in people who stayed by his side anymore? Bin made for Dongmin and vice versa, he supposed. Dongmin who had never had a person and wanted one to stay with. Bin who had many people and none had stayed. So he did what he thought would work best, wrapping his arms around the trembling man. 

“Maybe they left you. But I’m not going to leave the place I’m supposed to be.” Bin paused to look at him.

“And where’s that?” He looked at Bin and smiled.

“As your best friend.”

He admired the younger. He was so strong, but it was nice to be a support, just once.

It was out on the sea, after a month of sailing that things changed. Bin and Dongmin worked well together. It was probably just a soulmate thing. But Dongmin liked to pretend it was because they were best friends. They clicked in that way. Bin called it matching vibes. 

Bin hated injustice and Dongmin’s existence was one- but he was willing to be fair because Dongmin tried to be a good person. Dongmin wanted to be able to breathe without judgement. Bin have gave that, most of the time. When they made fun of each other, they knew it was a joke. But at the end of the day- they got along.

“Hey, Bin?” Dongmin asked from across the deck as they lay there and stared at the starry sky.

“Yes, hyung?”

“That day we met again. Why didn’t you hate me?” It has been bothering him for a while. Dongmin expected revulsion. Not this.

“I don’t hate people. It’s a waste of time.”

“Is keeping trauma to yourself a wast of time too?” The words came out unbidden, Dongmin hates when that happened.

“What?”

“You just... told me about your teams like that.”

“You just told me about the Sal like that.”

It was true. Dongmin had just said everything he felt and hated and why he literally changed his entire life on the second day he met Bin. 

“So we’re just open people I guess.”

“In words maybe?”

Dongmin laughed. It was true. Bin was slightly uncomfortable with touch. To be fair, Dongmin was built to eat him. 

“Can at least... give you an awkward hug?” Dongmin sat up, Bin followed straight after.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Bin grinned at him and Dongmin wrapped his arms around him. 

They lived together, and promised they’d be friends. That was why he liked being so close. He liked that warm feeling that was having someone by his side. He taught Bin how to sing, do math, read, and dance. Bin taught him how to maintain a ship. Honestly, Bin was physically strong so dance came pretty easily to him. It was still funny though. They danced around and made silly sensual eyes that the dancers had to learn in training that made them crack up.

And it was nice.

Having a friend he could laugh with was nice. So Dongmin worked hard to make himself a better friend. He hugged more and cared more and ensured that the sleepyhead woke up in the morning. 

And then there were the little things, like him buying Bin clothing or getting the groceries because Bin could never figure out what to get. Or Bin stealing hair from strangers when they stopped off for a “variety in taste.” When Bin started trusting Dongmin and let himself be hugged, or when Dongmin told him he’d stay by his side. 

Little things that he’d never had before.

“Did you eat? I stewed my own hair for you- oh ew that still feels gross. I put it over rice.” Bin was standing by the doorway as Dongmin plotted out a map for them to sell. Dongmin raised an eyebrow.

“Come on~” Bin whined. “I made your favorite!

Dongmin just giggled, and patted the seat next to him. Bin didn’t move. Dongmin sighed.

“You’ve been working on the ship all day. Take a rest.”

“Oh, but I have to steer,” Bin protested. But Dongmin shook his head. 

“I’m driving after I eat. Go to bed.”

“Okay.” Bin’s voice was quiet.

“I’m your hyung. Let me take care of you too.”

And Bin smiled at him, and he felt warm. The bowl in his hand was empty. But suddenly he felt as though he hadn’t eaten. 

Holy shit he loved Bin a lot.

Then it dawned on him.

Holy shit- he loved him. That was trouble.

But it was nice, he thought. To travel and to live and to see everything. To have a friend who expected nothing but his friendship and not some great image. 

Dongmin couldn’t believe the thought crossed his mind, but if he could die any way, he’d like it to be this. Romantic soulmates where a soulmate case when at least one soulmate was in love with the other. If the siren loved the human soulmate- he couldn’t be sustained by them.

Dongmin would starve to death- the most undesirable death touted by the Sal as the reason sirens needed to hunt. And in the middle of the sea with no other humans, he couldn’t do anything.

Well shit.

When Bin first learned about the soulmate thing, he was dubious. Part of him was furious for not having realized that Saerom was right. But part of him was interested. What did it mean to have someone meant to stay by his side? That sounded ridiculous. But interesting. When Dongmin proposed being friends, Bin let it happen. It seemed as though they could work. It wasn’t really any different from his crews in the past. If he kept the same mindset, they could be friends.

Bin knew he had a problem with that. Getting close to them but never letting them get close. But right then, things were different.

“What happened to your crew?”

And he told him. About each and every crew. Every single death that grated on his conscience and danced across his eyelids in his sleep. Bin didn’t even realize how far he’d been rambling before arms wrapped him in a hug.

“Maybe they left you. But I’m not going to leave the place I’m supposed to be.”

“And where’s that?”

“As your best friend.”

The thought of where he was supposed to be kept Bin awake. Across the bunkroom he could easily see Dongmin sleeping withou a care in the world. But he remembered that Dongmin cared about a lot of things. About how Dongmin sometimes spoke in his sleep and pleaded with those he left behind not to hate him. On the days after those nights, even though Dongmin never remembered his dreams, Bin always stuck a little closer to him. 

It was one of those nights, and Bin stood up and wrapped his arms around the sleeping siren, who was crying for his mother to not hate him. He whispered that he would stay by Dongmin’s side. He promised that he wouldn’t hate him even if he left. When the elder calmed down slightly, Bin frowned slightly. He hadn’t bulked out that much, so when had Dongmin gotten so thin? Dongmin has eaten his hair just as well over the last period of time. But he looked at him and frowned. He was so worried, about the man that slept in his arms.

It dawned on him then, he loved him. He couldn’t take it if Dongmin left him. That was why he was scared. Bin hadn’t always been the most in touch with his emotions, but he’d listened to Luda and Mina and Solbin and Yulhee. He’d seen Junhoe and Chaewon. He knew what it was like to be in love, even if he’d never fallen before. Well he’d fallen now. How nice, to fall for his soulmate. But first, he needed to make sure he was okay.

He wasn’t. He was blunt about it too, socially inept as he was.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier. But I’m starving to death.”

To death. Starving to death. Bin held his hands.

“Please! Hyung! Take some from me, my hair, my skin, everything of mine is yours. Why did you stop eating my hair? Why can’t I help you?” And all Dongmin did was smile and press a kiss to the crown of his head.

“You’re my romantic soulmate, Bin-ah. I physically cannot be sustained by you. Haven’t been able for a while- since I fell in love. And there is nobody else here.” Dongmin admitted. Then he gasped in pain, and Bin felt pain of his own curl around him as he realized how helpless he was. There was nobody else. Just them. There was nothing to save him. Why didn’t he just tell him? 

“Please, don’t leave, not like this! You’re my soulmate, the only person who stayed by my side. I don’t even know if I can go back to living without you.” Bin was crying now and Dongmin held his hand. 

“Promise me, then.”

“Promise?”

“Find me in the next life. Then we can continue, I promise you I’ll stay.” Bin heard the weakness as Dongmin’s voice began to slow.

“I swear. Okay, hyung? I swear! I’ll find you.” Bin’s tears trailed down his face, as he tried to keep the older alive just a second longer. Dongmin held his cheek. 

“Mm, and pick up where we left off?”

“Right from there,” Bin’s voice was thick. “I love you, Lee Dongmin.” His confession was whispered, but he saw his hyung smile. That beautiful smile that he really did love because of how happy it meant his hyung was.

Dongmin never got to respond. He died, there and then. And Bin screamed. He screamed and screamed until his throat was raw. Pressing a kiss to Dongmin’s temple, he stood, before he leapt into the ocean. In his last moments, the irony of it all rocked him.

As an asexual immune to the siren’s allure, he was dying by jumping into an ocean to see a siren again. But it didn’t matter.

He’d find his hyung.


	3. Chapter 3

In this world, that Dongmin lived in, there was normal and abnormal. That was fine.

Magic shouldn’t exist. That was fine. 

But of course as a first reincarnation he had to be abnormal, right? As if remembering a past life wasn’t enough. But no. He had to be born royalty.

That was fine. All good and dandy.

The life of royalty was fascinating.

“Can I tell you a secret? I can’t stop thinking about you.” A young daughter of an official said to him easily once. Dongmin- well, in this life Prince Yirim of the Jiâ kingdom- tried to be nice to her. Prince Yirim was a “genius” because he understood math. Laughable, but he played on it. Perhaps if his name and face spread, Bin would find him. It was a gamble, but he wanted to take it. He could afford to be known this time around. 

The luxury of being a royal was balanced with intense studying and too many eyes on him. He wasn’t a decorated general like his brothers- his brothers! How fun was that! But his best friend, a hyung named Kim Myungjun, was by his side. They wrote poetry and such.

Myungjun was excited to see the pretty daughter enamored. But Myungjun ended up going to the army to serve and sixteen year old Yirim was the last Yirim he saw. But he had told enough people, and a reputation as a beautiful man who ladies desired spread. His royal father was delighted that his son was described as good-looking, even more so when Yirim had openly said he didn’t want to fight his brothers for the the throne and would be a good subject to any good emperor his father chose. His brothers were just glad not to have to deal with him. This world was odd, and cared far too little about history.

Mythology meant nothing here, and Yirim easily kept a less luxurious lifestyle in exchange for freedoms his brothers didn’t have. 

When he wanted to travel, he picked up and left! It was wonderful, but he easily liked the sea the most. Once, he ran into a woman by the sea, and taught her how to sing. Even in this lifetime, with no allure or need to eat humans, the ocean recognized him. It climbed up to him to give his ankles a hug and Yirim only laughed. He managed to get the sea to chase him halfway up the beach as he giggled. 

He was free and that was the best part of it all. He spread the seeds for something to grow, cast his bait.

Bin only needed to find him, now.

He was on a vacation when Dasom, a daughter of an official approached him. The official was supporting... one of his brothers. Yirim stayed out of the court politics, deeming it a vipers nest of drama queens. Jiâ was Jiâ and Yirim didn’t have the energy to deal with it.

His mother lamented to him once that he held no desire to make her empress dowager, but it was laughingly. Yirim lived a life of relative ease until he reached seventeen. His brothers began fighting harder for the title of heir and dragged him into arguments. Yirim’s lifestyle was lamentably kissed goodbye and he had to begin working in the government. He assisted ministers, admitting easily to them that he just wanted to not be around while his brothers held pissing contests. 

The ministers that weren’t corrupt were the ones he liked the most. They treated him like the kid he was, respectfully sure, but he was happy for them to act like he was their own grandson. Talking to him over sweets and joking about terrible literature. By biological standards he wasn’t even a full man. It unnerved him how close he was getting to the age he died last time, though. Those ministers were jolly and unafraid of him hurting them. After all, he was Prince Yirim, a friendly down-to-earth sort who didn’t want prestige. But he wasn’t super pressured when he was away.

But soon his mother began talking about him making a bigger contribution in government. In him helping the citizens more.

They seemed like good ideas, but the more he listened and the more he tried to do, the more entrenched he became. His brothers started viewing him as a threat, the citizens viewing him as a potential ruler. Some of the ministers he used to joke with were more respectful than they needed to be. But his mother kept insisting he work hard. Because even princes were supposed to be contributing to the people. Yirim wanted to be a good prince, he was supposed to. If he wasn’t a good prince, his name would spread poorly, and he couldn’t stand for it to reach Bin that way. 

But then they started discussing other things. Marriage for one. And nothing Yirim said could dissuade them. He pleaded with his father that he thought himself too young to marry. But his father refused, demanding he marry and gave a royal edict. 

He was to marry Miss Dasom.

He had no way to fight back, and guards seemed to hang around every corner. His mother was ecstatic that the emperor himself was invested in this marriage. Yirim, himself, was freaking out. He understood marriages of convenience, but he couldn’t do that. He loved someone and he was waiting for him!

But the procession continued, and he was miserable the entire time, not even bothering to put on the happy face he normally kept.

Those who knew him well enough were unnerved, as serious expressions were not seen on the face of Prince Yirim of Jiâ. Some even wondered if the wife was not as wonderful as they assumed, and some wondered if he didn’t want to marry. Miss Dasom was alright, but he didn’t love her. He didn’t want to marry her, have his name tied to hers.

There was one Sir Bin. He was waiting for his Sir Bin. 

And on the eve of the wedding, he caught the eye of a guard from Miss Dasom’s Kang household. A heavily drunk guard had said his name was Jung Oh Je, head guard. From pirate to guard, hey? It made him smile, his Bin- ah, his Oh Je- was so successful now. But it was too late, he couldn’t continue this farce. 

He needed to try again. In their next lives. 

But first, he needed to get there.

Needless to say, Miss Dasom never met her husband to be that night in the bridal chamber. And Prince Yirim never did smile again.

Bin awoke a son of the Jungs. Jung Oh Je, destined to be a head guard for the Kang family. His best friend Minhyuk had his fun teasing him. There was even a Sanha again, but this Sanha wasn’t like last time. A friendly fellow, like a little brother. But he went on the become a guard, hoping to be around wonderful people. Because Dongminnie could only be the most wonderful person. He was soon assigned a detail to Young Miss Dasom. He wasn’t around many corrupt leaders, perhaps they didn’t exist in this world. But he was content, seeing the country continue. The royal brothers were fighting for the title of heir, except for the honorable youngest, Prince Yirim. He had openly declared in the streets that he did not want to fight to be the heir. Yet it seemed as though Prince Yirim did the most for the people. Some of those watching with a sense of irreverence said it was his tactic to garner favor. He listened to Young Miss talk about him when she asked him to be her guard. She had said he was beautiful and scholarly and that she wanted to marry him.

Personally, to Oh Je, there was nobody more beautiful than Dongmin hyung. But he smiled along and wished her the best. According to her, he loved to travel, and wanted to live a carefree life.

If anything, he had to respect the guy for that. He could compete for infinite power or just live comfortably and he chose the humbler option. But he felt a sense of pride in the Young Miss when she was told she’d be marrying the young prince. Apparently the emperor himself had issued that edict.

Perhaps she’d become empress!

When the wedding came, he head whispers of an icy expression on the Young Prince’s face. A bit of indignation had shot through him when someone had implied it meant that the Prince didn’t want to marry his Young Miss. 

But then he saw the Prince, he met eyes with the young noble. He recognized his face instantly, and ice shot through him.

Prince Yirim was his Dongmin.

What sick irony was this? Of course Dongmin would be the most beloved prince! Dongmin was loveable. But a cold ice shot through his heart.

Of course Prince Yirim was upset, Oh Je hadn’t found him in time and it was too late. He wasn’t happy because he’d been forced.

And it made him want to cry.

But he did end up crying the next morning, when it was discovered that the Prince had killed himself and left a note in an odd script. Oh Je never got to read it, because he was the only one seen to meet eyes with the Prince, and was accused of cursing him with dark magic.

Funny how the actual magical one was already gone. He was sentenced without trial, and burnt on a pyre. He swore to himself that he’d find Dongmin on time, in their next lives. As he cried for his love’s death, he let them kill him. It wasn’t worth fighting, because his purpose for living in this realm was taken. 

When he found his hyung, he’d hold him close and protect him from the world. He didn’t want to see him suffer anything anymore. He didn’t want him to be forced to hunt or to marry or to fight for a throne.

He wanted it to be just him and them.

Jung Oh Je died smiling at the thought.

Dongmin woke up as Han Ahreum. He wasn’t very much older than a baby when the war began. He’d grown up with it, little boys training to become soldiers and marrying young to pop out some more.

It was achingly familiar, to not have a childhood again. And Ahreum hated it. But he understood that as the soul in Ahreum’s body, he owed it to his mother and father to fight. He had to take a part in this war.

He trained, once again, to become a weapon. It was a relief that nobody saw him as their perfect prodigy now, but he worked hard. Maybe, when all this was over, he could leave the icy lands he lived on and find the ocean again.

He’d like to take his Bin-ah, and teach him to sing to the waves.

He began guerrilla warfare, and began to rise as a captain of his own. He had to end this war, finish his duties on this plane and find Bin.

So he was ruthless in his attacks, trying not to wince at the kill counts. He adopted strategies he’d studied before, from royal tutors and as a trained weapon. 

He demolished them until the engaging enemies were so desperate they attacked head on. But he knew, he had warned them that guerrilla tactics would lead to this, but he’d followed orders. He’d heard he’d gotten pretty famous too, his mother wrote to him. She thanked him for trying so hard to protect everyone. It made a part of him feel a little guilty, that cold guilt he’d felt when a ship sunk so long ago. He wasn’t trying to protect everyone, he was trying to clean up the mess between the two countries so he could travel with Bin when he found him.

But he supposed that nobody needed to know. He understood that until the end, he had to fill obligations. If he didn’t- everything he’d worked for would be lost. If he lost, he’d never find Bin.

The entire army put up their fight, and deaths rose on both sides. Their force was being pushed back. Reinforcements came in from the inland, surrounding them from the back.

He just hoped that if they won they didn’t make him general. After all- these movements had been all his idea. Even as a captain, the upper officials listened to him. It seemed that he’d end up with authority- even if he tried not to. It was alright, if they could destroy all four of the leaders that were there- they stood a chance. They’d already killed two and they had surrounded a third. But a soldier under his command was on the verge of death. Ignoring yells for him to stay back, Ahreum leapt into battle. He easily killed the one about to kill his soldier, then another. Then another. Men began to attack him as well.

“Captain!” Another soldier under his command yelped upon seeing him fighting alongside the foot soldiers. Ahreum paused to catch his breath.

“Stand firm, I’ve got you’re back. Do you have mine?” The soldiers who heard him, under his command and not let out a cheer for the young captain.

“Always!”

He had no choice but to fight back against an attacking invader, as he had leapt at him, when a sharp pain through his stomach made him freeze.

He’d been stabbed in the stomach.

Looking up, it was Bin. His face paled and he knelt, holding him. Honestly, he wanted to fans fate and rip all her hair out. His life wasn’t some sort of cosmic comedy.

“Gosh, you need to stop finding me like this.”

“Hyung,” Bin-Ah gasped. “Hyung. Oh, I was too late.” He didn’t need to blame himself. He never did. Ahreum wasn’t angry. He didn’t feel betrayed. He just wanted to hold him. But he couldn’t move.

“Nonsense! Tell you what, fourth times a charm? Or should we stick a variable in there?” Okay, jokes were not a good idea, he winced.

“A w-what?” Bin stared, eyes widening the way they did. Ahreum smiled, he’d never gotten to finish teaching him math. Next time. Next time he’d get it right. They’d fix things.

“This isn’t your fault, okay? I promise.”

“Hyung, I just- I just stabbed you,” Bin stammered in disbelief. He wanted to laugh but decided against it. Why did they only get to meet to have to part? 

“You know, I fought this war,” he coughed, tasting blood. “I fought so hard so I could take you to the sea.”

“I’m so- I’m so sorry,” Bin was crying. Ahreum felt his body beginning to grow cold. 

“It’s okay, you can... you can make it up to me. I know you love me. I love you too. Come, find me before fate rips us apart again next time.”

“It won’t change, I’ll always love you,” Bin swore. “And I’ll keep coming to find you even if it’s a million times.”

“What was your name... this time?” He smiled, cupping his cheek. Bin’s eyes were leaking tears that tracked across his face.

“So Yijeong, love. It’s So Yijeong who fought and travelled to bring Lee Dongmin back.” Of course he did, Ahreum knew how much Yijeong loved him. He’d find him again, even if he destroyed everything, and the first thing he’d do would be hug Yijeong. He swore to himself.

“Well... then know this. On this earth,” he coughed. “On this earth there is nobody that Han Ahreum loves more, than So Yijeong.”

And the world faded once again to black.

Bin woke up as So Yijeong. His empire thrived. And they were eating up some smaller countries to bring them in. Help them develop. 

It sounded noble, on paper.

And So Yijeong needed an excuse to move and travel- to find Dongmin. Find him before it was too late.

His mother was ecstatic when he became a soldier in the latest campaign. He was slightly less so. This country used sneaky attacks that reminded him of guerrilla warfare from his first life. Growing up seeing booming countries fall to it, he’d known how dangerous it could be.

When he listened to soldiers mock the icelands for doing what they did, he wanted to throttle them. They were using any and every means to destroy their soldiers. They were dangerous. Not facing them head on wasn’t cowardice, it was resourcefulness. He remembered learning about wars the sirens had watched and recorded, and how well-praised one captain of history was to them. Unseen by humans, his units destroyed supplies and took out the support of the other nation’s military. Even Dongmin had talked about how smart that was.

Their military was tricky, and eventually their generals were growing desperate. They couldn’t outsmart them. So soldiers were order a full frontal attack. Weakened but still larger, their military wasn’t prepared for a fight back. 

A captain seemed to leap among the foot soldiers to protect his men. It hurt him that there were honorable people on the other side. But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t die now.

He traced the captain, a brilliant arc of death, as he fought. Another soldier attacked him and Yijeong took his chance. The other man died, and the captain turned to look at him, see who had stabbed him with the spear.

He stared into doe eyes.

No. Not again.

He cried out, eyes widening helplessly into the face of the person he loved the most.

It was supposed to be an easy conquest. He’d help take over and find Dongmin. But here he was, spear in body. Dongmin only laughed.

“Gosh, you need to stop finding me like this.”

“Hyung,” he gasped. “Hyung. Oh, I was too late.”

“Nonsense! Tell you what, fourth time’s a charm? Or should we stick a variable in there?” A what? Gosh this man, he loved him but he didn’t understand the fancy words he rolled off so easily. One day, he’d have Dongmin teach him what all of them meant. He swore.

“A w-what?”

“This isn’t your fault, okay? I promise.”

“Hyung, I just- I just stabbed you,” he almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that was. But there it was, a crushing loss. He’d been too late again. He’d been too late and he’d been the cause. Again.

“You know, I fought this war,” his hyung coughed. “I fought so hard so I could take you to the sea.”

“I’m so- I’m so sorry,” Yijeong was crying, he felt the familiar ache of loss and tracks of tears down his face. He’d lost so many people in his first life. But now, he just needed one person. And he’d get him back if it killed him. But he’d never been the one to die first.

“It’s okay, you can... you can make it up to me. I know you love me. I love you too. Come, find me before fate rips us apart again next time.”

“It won’t change, I’ll always love you,” Yijeong swore. “And I’ll keep coming to find you even if it’s a million times.” A soft smile crossed his hyung’s face, and he cupped his cheek.

“What was your name... this time?”

“So Yijeong, love. It’s So Yijeong who fought and travelled to bring Lee Dongmin back.” Yijeong said it easily, beginning to tremble, his voice breaking with tears.

“Well... then know this. On this earth,” he coughed. “On this earth there is nobody that Han Ahreum loves more, than So Yijeong.”

He swore to himself that he’d find him next time. He’d tear everything apart.

“Captain!” An enemy soldier screamed.

And a sharp pain in neck to accompany the pain in his chest was the last thing he knew.


	4. Chapter 4

His eyes opened, a baby to an incredibly hardened PI couple. His name? Do Kyungsuk. 

He picked up on how this world worked quickly, not saying much. If his parents caught onto him- he was finished. But then he discovered the internet. Computers could get him anywhere if he learned enough about them. He didn’t care about anything but working towards his goal. He acted classed and studied languages and technologies. He didn’t care if he studied until his back ached. He didn’t even care if he regained the title of studious ice prince. He didn’t care about any of it. He needed to be able to disguise himself, to be able to fight. He trained, and he worked. How sad, that in past lives he’d lamented a loss of childhood and this time it was training period by his own choice. He really needed to have a talk with fate. Nevertheless- he prepared to scour every inch of the world.

Until he was sixteen.

When he was sixteen, he was finally ready.

He took the pseudonym ANGEL, and conquered the hacking underground. It was simple things, gaining access and searching for a face. But he had to destroy those who tried to commit injustices when they crossed his path. They were threats he would ruthlessly destroy.

This singleminded drive was unlike him. It truthfully tired him. But he had dreams of the haunted look on his Bin’s face from every death. He couldn’t stand it. He searched school records around the world. He searched public health and encrypted files. He scoured even obituaries and death reports. He picked through medical records. He stole photos off of mobile phones and computers. 

His Bin was nowhere to be found. He scanned across Korea, through all of Eurasia and both Americas. It was as though he didn’t live somewhere with access to a camera. He prayed every night that it was a third world country and not a totalitarian state like the north or China. He even hacked the Chinese government, in desperation.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He had less qualms about hacking into North Korea after that. There weren’t any indications that he lived there either, which was a huge relief. He did find military information that he allowed to make its way into a spy channel, though. ANGEL was ANGEL, not necessarily good. But good enough. 

He felt terrible to hear his moniker in his parents mouths as they cursed the mysterious hacker. ANGEL had hacked into every government’s birth records they could by now. Nobody knew the reason. But some criminal psychologists pointed out that ANGEL was probably looking for someone.

Honestly one didn’t need to be a psychologist to see it, just not a complete idiot. Kyungsuk didn’t care what he ripped apart, because ANGEL could disappear with no trace the moment he wanted it to. He just needed to find his Bin.

And hey, he could become an internally wanted criminal before hitting seventeen. That was kinda cool. Irrelevant, though. But what bothered him was that his moves were being tracked. He needed to destroy the ANGEL persona soon. At some point it would become a time bomb. He searched everything, in every country’s underground. But underground was more difficult. Faces were catfishes more often than real. Assassins and informants didn’t reveal their info easily. He’d need to full-frontal attack every individual, and that would draw too much attention to them- and render the person useless. 

Ah, what a dilemma fame was.

It didn’t matter, ultimately. When he got onto college, he kept searching. He went to shady places and killed guards to talk to bosses. He threatened whoever he wanted to threaten. 

By day? Do Kyungsuk, polite genius who aces classes but is very cold. A scholar prince out of fairy tales. 

By night? ANGEL. Hacker who wields enough power to destroy a hundred lives in an hour.

What a thrill it was, to demolish an enemy in between him and Bin.

But one night, walking down the street- everything went wrong.

Woohyuk was his name. He’d had no family, sold to an assassin’s ring. He didn’t care, if it provided him travel funds and a chance to find Dongmin- he didn’t care. He’d do it all. He let himself be raised by corpses and slave trading. He accepted it all- just to find Dongmin again.

He hated this. The bloodshed and the killing. But if he found his love, it didn’t matter.

He was desperate, searching every lead. 

But things went wrong when he turned fifteen.

A new hacker who went by ANGEL took over.

His contacts knew nothing about him. And orders on ANGEL’s head appeared everywhere underground. His superiors wanted him gone and sent every experienced assassin after him. ANGEL destroyed anyone stupid enough to get close. There were police around them before they managed a thing. There were rumors that ANGEL had every single room across the underground bugged to all hell with microphones so small they were invisible.

Woohyuk wanted to find him for a different reason. He wanted to pay him to find Dongmin hyung. He’d kill any enemy for the hacker if he found Dongmin for him. He’d make an attempt on a king or president of any country. He’d do it.

How sick was he? To be willing to kill even innocents? The thing that bothered him about sirens, so long ago. He wondered, some nights when he lay awake, if his hyung would hate him. It scared him, but Woohyuk would drop all of it once he found Dongmin. He’d become a monk if that was what it took. 

When news about ANGEL that even the most credible sources had began to spread, Woohyuk began to pay attention. They said ANGEL had won a ring from a big boss by way of gambling. He knew which boss, and what that ring looked like. 

In the night, a college kid was walking, and a glitter on his fingers caught Woohyuk’s eye. Pretending to take pictures on his dinosaur phone, he zoomed in on what was, in fact, that ring. 

Following him was easy, and he made a move to stab ANGEL. When his knife pierced stomach, a knife ripped into his own.

He stared into an equally surprised Dongmin. Who just... started laughing.

“I hacked everywhere to find you, you know. Where were you?”

“Woohyuk, ring-owned assassin,” was all he could reply with through his shock. Dongmin cupped his cheek.

“Do Kyungsuk. And I love you.”

“Try again?” He raised an eyebrow, frustrated tears in his eyes.

In response, his hyung only kissed him. Hard.

“We both know were going to die based on where we’re stabbed and what we were stabbed with. But, I’d like to spend the last few minutes holding you.”

Woohyuk kissed his cheek, a sense of rage at it all burning inside him. But he was happy to hold his hyung’s hand. For the first time in a long time.

“I’d like to lie down next to you and look at the sky again.”

“What upsets me the most is that I never did get to be the one to teach you about variables.” Dongmin’s- ah, Kyungsuk’s- voice was light. Woohyuk giggled in reply, and they smiled at each other. Reveling in each other’s presence. 

And so they did lie down. before the acid leaking from their stomach cavities demolished too much of their insides to stay awake.

This time, they died holding hands.

When Dongmin awoke again. He wasn’t a siren, but a human again. He hadn’t been a siren since. Yet another life. In yet another different world? So he grew up. And he wrote easily, refining his skill for an art. He had been an article of war, but truthfully, his soul came from a body built to create. In this world, he was born Lee Dongmin but became Cha Eunwoo upon his adopted into another family. 

He sang sometimes, to the sea. It crawled to him and comforted him the way it always did. But he never sang to another human. He didn’t want to. Part of him couldn’t. So he wrote about his life instead. He created in words a different way. He had so many stories to tell and nobody to tell them to. His parents declared him a creative genius, but Eunwoo instead upon waiting until he had a degree in writing to publish anything seriously. They agreed and Eunwoo grew up a master storyteller. He had seen enough from all his lives to know a good story. Some real and some based on worlds he’d seen. Centuries of lore from worlds unlike this one. With countries and history and mythology of their own. 

He was twenty when he published his novels about his life. It was merely his first and second lives, and he remembered the comments. How a siren and a pirate became royalty and a guard- passing each other by and even then they stood by their swear to try again. It had enough romance to placate those who craved it in a novel and enough action and emotion for those who needed it for it to be considered literature. But he remembered how he was interviewed the first time after he wrote about the second life. How the prince searched and found on a day he could do nothing. Eunwoo could have easily said that Dongmin in both lives was burdened. Though it was more sudden in his second than his first, more subtle. But to see future mothers and fathers swear to their future children that they would never be like that was enough for him. 

They blew up, making him a wildly popular author. He wrote side works that exploded as well, but he was easily most known for his series. It was odd in interviews to be well known, but he tried to be friendly at least. It was nice to buy his parents a penthouse in Jeju, though. The last time he’d been rich was as a royal, in his second life. And he hadn’t been able to give his parents anything to please them that way. It was nice, for once, to have something nice to gift his mother and father.

He wondered what people thought of his life. He always had wondered what someone would or wouldn’t say to his face if he told them his life story. And now he was hearing it. People openly saying that fate had wronged him. And that he deserved a happy ending. It made him happy. 

Many people asked about a third book. His third life was a more difficult book to release, getting once again caught up in his burden of a war-torn nation, and then accidentally dying on the battlefield by his lover’s hand- only learning his name for this life in his dying moments. And his fourth was terrible, he’d actually known of Woohyuk when he heard the name- terribly enough. They’d passed each other by. His desperation dripped from every moment in that life and readers heard it. They cried to him, that he was being so cruel to the two. Smugly, he wondered if fate heard their cries. Because he’d cry the same thing on lonely nights.

Eunwoo asked himself, in one of his lives, why he let himself be burdened every time. He didn’t remember which one. But he’d asked that. Why he worked so hard, even towards finding Bin. It was probably one of the most common criticisms of his character by readers. He had a lover to find. He knew, in himself, that they still had to live when he found him. It was fascinating to see the readers realize how much of Eunwoo had been devoted to Bin. How he spent years studying and appearing perfect to rip apart the undersides of the world. How he trained and led a war to bring Bin to the sea. How he’d tried to be a good nobleman to have his name reach Bin. 

He wondered which name Bin would get this time. If he ended up as Eunwoo... would Bin end up with a pseudonym from their first lives? What a funny thought. 

It was the morning of a book signing. He liked hearing that he’d done okay, and that his readers thought he’d done okay. Sometimes, he was asked about Bin-ah’s perspective. Many moments of Bin’s life, he’d never gotten to learn. So all Eunwoo did was be cryptic. A lot of readers were coming, and fans of a dancer known as DAL on Instagram who said he was coming. He didn’t know much about DAL, but his dancing was nice. The dancer work a mask, but the eyes were familiar. He opened the last book of the day to sign, and saw a little message written across the page.

_“_ _ I’m sorry I took so long.” _

Eunwoo looked up at the figure before him. In a tee shirt and jeans, casually holding DAL’s iconic mask stood Bin.

“My name’s Moonbin this time, what’s yours?”

And this time? Not a damn thing stood in their way. 


End file.
